just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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