You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
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