Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
