I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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