I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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