You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
