your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I want her autograph on my taint
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Randomize
