even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
