i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
