i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
