It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
He kissed a someone with a penis
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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