I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Randomize
