why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
We need a shit load of segways right now
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
