And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
