we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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