Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
