Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Non-Jews are for practice
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
