I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
