It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
