If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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