I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
