thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
