Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
