There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
