do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
