we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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