Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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