Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
