He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Randomize
