I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
