I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
