My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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