addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Randomize
