Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
