Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
