Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
