yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
