i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
