but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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