Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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