2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
