oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
