i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
