wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I'm having to shit out rocks
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