I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
