in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
