Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
