I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
he shaved USA in his pubs
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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