i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
The struggles of a small town man whore
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
