my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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