im about as happy as oj after his trial
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
